Before I say anything more about getting my clarinet groove back, I need to say THANK YOU for your responses. Oh. My. GOD! Amazing. I think most of them went to my Facebook inbox, but I kind of wish you could all see them here. Because we all need encouragement! Last night I invited about 10 friends to read my first post. The 10ish people on the list are totally my safety net for this blog. People who I thought would benefit, identify, or who "knew me when." The safest, most supportive people. And it was scary as hell just clicking "send" to them! But then I started to get some major warm fuzzies back. And I thank you so, so, so, so, so much. You have given me some good energy to get this going!
Then Bob asked to post the blog on his Facebook. First thought: heck no! Second thought: it's okay, the more the merrier, and I really do think a lot of people out there can identify with this predicament. And he already tells me that some strangers out there are into this. So thank you, too! :)
Kinda feeling like the pressure is on for a sweet second post. Don't get too excited. I shall now tell you about my current day job. I teach 6-12th grade. I teach HS Piano 1, Piano 2, Choir, MS General Music (much like piano 1, plus guitar, some wildly exciting powerpoints on world music and other random musical things, and a little singing...) and...6th grade beginning band, which I begged to start this year. We are on a semester schedule, so I recently got a whole new crop of students. Here are some things that really do it for me, teaching-wise:
1. Perfectionist-ism: within the general population of a "normal" classroom, a whole bunch of kids don't care if they get an A, B, C, D and so forth on a test. Put a piano piece in front of them, and if they miss ONE note, screwing up the melody, they are not satisfied and they start all over. They are striving for 100% accuracy, and they don't even realize it.
2. Bandies: my 6th graders are SO excited to figure out how their instrument works, how to play songs, etc. Even the shy kids I can tell are secretly excited to find success on their instrument. I am already seeing it in week 2.
3. First Note As An Ensemble Experience: do you remember the first time you played with a band or orchestra? Or even your first sound in a new organization? I remember the first sounds of Civic Concert Band in my hometown when I was 13, I also remember the first sound of a sweet youth orchestra I was in in Minneapolis as a senior in high school, the first sound of the Boston Conservatory Orchestra (I noticed then how amazing the horns were...right before they deported that poor kid for faking his audition CD<---remember that?? Yikes...) etc... SO, first notes are exciting for me. And in 6th grade, the kids aren't prepared for that moment. But when it comes, it is a big surprise to them and it is always satisfying for me, too. Sorry so sappy.
4. The students that say, "I'm in love with this piece!"
5. The kids that have been given up on so many times, that are able (and willing!) to sit at the keyboard and plunk out Rihanna songs, and then ask for Fur Elise for an entire hour.
Now, my job is no walk in the park. I've been called a bitch twice last semester by my wonderful students. (I am soooo not a bitch teacher, I don't think...) and other generic middle school/high school BS. But as they say, focus on the good.
I usually leave my house around 6:45 am and get home any time between 4:00-6 depending on...how fast I move myself out of the school. This is my third year. When I get home, I am usually totally exhausted. And teaching music all day to 150 students means that I really enjoy silence after the 3:20 bell. No music. Not all the time, but you know what I mean. Herein lies part of the problem. This is what my wish is currently: to get back to the point where "practicing" (I use the quotes because I'm...oh God this is going to sound so dumb...I'm one of those people who never thought of it so much as practicing as I did PLAYING...yes, it was fun for me, almost always...there, make fun...) to get back to the point where playing is calming. Just calming.
There is a Hilary Hahn quote that stuck with me for a long time, especially during college. She said "I only practice on the days I eat." I loved that quote back in the day! So intense! So hardcore! So...unhealthy. Now we know the importance of breaks. A day. A weekend. A summer. Whatever. So, I don't like all those intense quotes anymore. I don't want to get back to drilling Daphnis, or forcing stupid Nielsen down my throat, or learning Martino because it's the hard piece everybody else good is doing...I want to get back to Bach partitias. And Rose etudes. And that's kind of it for now. Just calm, good stuff for the clarinet soul.
Dear Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI thought a lot about what you posted in regards to Hilary Hahn's words and collecting quotations. My 4 years at BoCo were spent filling many notebooks full of inspiring quotes and ideas from people committed to some sort of art, ranging from yoga teachers to bartenders to principal BSO players. The absorption was definitely crucial during that time. Conservatory studies, as you well know, can be emotionally exhausting and depressing. We ned our vices to sometimes survive the ride, and furthermore, to produce inspiration to last us a loooong time.
However, these days, I tend to look at and speak about music much more practically (symptoms of an orchestral musician, and also probably some effect of living in Germany, perhaps one of the most extreme countries of practicality in daily life). My own music and personal repertoire is more straight forwardly marked up, and I have come to abhor pictures and funny symbols in the notes. This is probably because I have to spend so much time during rehearsals simply erasing superfluous and distracting personal comments and fingerings from previous orchestras who've used the parts (in most German orchestras that use rotating seating within the group, you're not allowed to write in your own fingerings). I don't collect quotes anymore, and am not a big fan of conductors who describe a picture from their imagination of what the phrase should sound like. Volume, articulation, length, sharp or flat - keep it simple and more universal. How can someone like me relate to a German conductor describing a phrase as a Bavarian baptism?
Nevertheless, it is quite fun to pull out those old notebooks and remind myself of what I heard in the past. Some things seem silly and exaggerated to me, but others still resonate so deeply. Here's one that I just re-found and liked, and don't think is too intense for you or your blog :) -
From Magdalena Richter, my dear teacher at BoCo, "You're at the stage now where you're getting deeper into the woods and it's more complicated. Fortunately, the simplicity of the solutions never changes. It's always back to the basics."
Happy practicing!
xo,
Geeta